Demo and Soldier: Fifty Themes
by Ofdensocks
Summary: Bromance is sweet. WAR is hell. Rated for mild language.


Okay. Once upon a time, I did a set of Fifty Themes based around Sniper and Spy. Everybody seemed to get a kick out of it. So I decided to do one for my personal favorite bromance-tastic pairing, Soldier and Demoman.

THAT WAS MONTHS AGO. This particular theme set, different than the one I used last time, was an absolute BITCH to complete, and by that token some prompts aren't quite as good as others. In addition, some prompts DO carry an ongoing narrative, but as rearranging the themes is a no-no, the chronology is all over the place. Sorry about that.

Anyway, here you go. Enjoy.

(Also, #18 is an intentional anachronism. It was the only thing I could think of and it was too cute not to use.)

-

#01 - Walking  
They strode to their respective battle lines like men walking to a Death Row execution, each wondering in the backs of their minds how, after all they'd done together, they had gotten to this point.

#02 - Waltz  
"Christ, I don't even know how you talk me into these things... the least you could do is stop stepping on my goddamn feet."

#03 - Wishes  
After Jane explained what he had meant by what he'd uttered as the shooting star had streaked across the sky, Jane slung an arm warmly, if not a bit drunkenly, over his best friend's shoulders and said that Jane was a real soldier's far as HE was concerned.

#04 - Wonder  
"Ach, lad, if the only things you believe in are what ye can see with your own eyes, I feel sorry for ye."

#05 - Worry  
Looking around the tiny, dark, windowless apartment, Tavish made sure that Jane knew that he could stay at his mansion anytime he wanted.

#06 - Whimsy  
The Demoman's expression and laughing tone were both incredulous as he asked Jane to repeat the remark he had just made about Sun Tzu.

#07 - Wasteland  
The sunset dyed the desert sands red like blood, the color haunting the blue Soldier as if to remind him, as every other thing did, of the terrible, unforgivable thing he had done.

#08 - Whiskey and rum  
They really didn't understand why barkeeps constantly, under the guise of concern, got in the way of their personal battle against their own livers.

#09 - War  
The ferocity with which they tore at each other was every bit as fierce as the fraternal love between them had been, and those who had known of it despite their attempts to hide it thought the battle an aching tragedy.

#10 - Weddings  
"Tavish..." Jane mumbled, looking down at his left hand in the morning light of the Vegas hotel room, "...I think we've got a problem..."

#11 - Birthday  
"This ain't gonna explode when I blow it out, will it?"

#12 - Blessing  
As they went to get the accidental nuptuals annulled, Tavish couldn't help but quip with an impish grin that his mum would be disappointed- "...after all, mate, she likes ye."

#13 - Bias  
"You only say tha', lad, 'cuz ye never seen REAL football."

#14 - Burning  
As the firetruck whizzed passed them, Jane and Tavish looked at each other rather sheepisly- perhaps they'd gotten a bit carried away with the explosives that time.

#15 - Breathing  
The inhale was wet and raspy, the exhale just as ugly, carrying with it the Demoman's last words to his friend- "you're going tae carry that weight..."

#16 - Breaking  
Pacing around the tiny apartment like a caged animal after the Administrator's men left, Jane punched dents in the walls until his rage began to cool- he then sank to one knee and, almost against his will, began to sob, hurt beyond description at the very idea that his dearest friend could betray him so cruelly.

#17 - Belief  
"Ghosts... huh, goddamn... well, Tav, I've heard crazier things, and if you say it I believe it."

#18 - Balloon  
"Tav, that's ludicrous- you can't start a Goddamn war by letting a bunch of balloons go."

#19 - Balcony  
When it got more difficult for them to talk openly, Jane got the idea to leave a flashlight and an old Army manual on morse code hidden where he knew Tavish could find it- this resulted in the rest of the Teams wondering what the weird flashing was from the balconies at night.

#20 - Bane  
"Yeah, well..." he grumbled, clenching a cigar in his teeth, "...mom wanted a girl."

#21 - Quiet  
"My yell... christ, I don't know... to fill the silence I guess, too much quiet makes me nervous... it gets too quiet I talk to myself, and if I talk to myself things start talking back."

#22 - Quirks  
As long as Jane never called him on his drinking, Tavish never called Jane on his mental instability- this didn't stop the two friends from trying to help one another with their respective problems as subtly as they knew how to.

#23 - Question  
"Oh, I could TELL ye how I lost me eye, m'lad," Tavish said with a feral sort of grin, "but I doubt ye'd have thae stomach for it."

#24 - Quarrel  
Rubbing at his split lip, Tavish only laughed and said 'I liked ye before, lad, but now that we've yelled I think I like ye even better!'

#25 - Quitting  
The closer he and Jane became, the less Tavish found himself drinking alone.

#26 - Jump  
When Jane told Tavish that he loved rocket-jumping so much because the sensation of flight made him feel like an eagle, the Scotsman was a good enough friend not to laugh in the slightest.

#27 - Jester  
Jane liked that Tavish was always laughing, and Tavish liked that Jane always gave him something to laugh about.

#28 - Jousting  
The Teams started to wonder whether or not something was amiss when, upon being caught out of ammunition, the RED Demo and the BLU Soldier looked more like they were playing around than actually trying to punch each other's lights out.

#29 - Jewel  
When Tavish showed Jane the heirloom ring his mother had given him for when he 'finally found a proper lassie to settle down with', Jane gave his solemn promise not to let him give it to any drunken one night stands- no matter HOW hot they were.

#30 - Just  
He didn't say a word about what he was going through- for what he'd done he deserved to bear the guilt alone.

#31 - Smirk  
Their war grimaces at each other looked suspiciously to the others like conspirator's grins.

#32 - Sorrow  
"She always says how much she misses 'im..." Tavish took a shaking breath inward, a speck of moisture gathering at his eye, "...an' tae be honest... so do I."

#33 - Stupidity  
Tavish glanced at the large hunk of charred wood where his workbench used to be, over at the very sheepish looking Soldier, shook his head, and said "Lad... I appreciate the thought, but from now on... leave the bomb-makin' to me, aye?"

#34 - Serenade  
While Jane's comment of 'y'sing likkenangel' was made after about five beers, the truth was he would have thought the same thing sober.

#35 - Sarcasm  
"Jesus, how in the name of Liberty's heaving tits should I know... maybe you're the victim of underwear-stealing pixies."

#36 - Sordid  
Even as angry as he was, how much the betrayal of his friend made him burn like the fires of Hades, he took care never to think too long on the details of what he was doing lest he make himself sick to his stomach.

#37 - Soliloquy  
"I love ye," he said drunkenly to the already snoring Soldier.

#38 - Sojourn  
They liked going into town on furloughs or long ceasefires- at least out there, any static they ran into over their friendship wasn't immediately life-threatening.

#39 - Share  
They passed the bottle back and forth until every drop was gone, the affection between them unspoken but strong just the same.

#40 - Solitary  
"I ain't got nobody but you, pal... but damnit, that's enough."

#41 - Nowhere  
He lost interest in going out after the WAR was over- everyplace seemed as good as everyplace else, and noplace seemed special or interesting.

#42 - Neutral  
If there was a ceasefire but no real time to make the journey into town and back, they often rocket and boom jumped up to the roof of the bridge between the two sides of 2Fort, each bringing a six pack, and would drink and talk together long into the night.

#43 - Nuance  
"Look, all I'm saying is that if you try to make your goddamn stickies go for distance you might's well just get yourself a rocket launcher."

#44 - Near  
He knew that at times there was really nothing to be done for the Demoman's melancholy moodiness- all he could do was sit beside him, a hand comfortingly on his shoulder, and wait for it to pass.

#45 - Natural  
"Nae, lad..." Tavish laughed, grinning cockily and running his fingers through his righteous 'fro, "...it looks this good on its own."

#46 - Horizon  
Looking out to the setting sun the evening before the week-long furlough, Tavish was suddenly struck with a horrible feeling of dread, like everything he knew would change for the worse before he and his friend saw each other again- when Jane asked him what the matter was, he just shook his head, gave a small chuckle, and said it was nothing.

#47 - Valiant  
"Well if you ask me," Jane said gruffly, rubbing the blood off his knuckles and onto his jacket sleeve, "...anybody who says you can't drink at the same bar's me DESERVES to get their damn jaw dislocated."

#48 - Virtuous  
"What th... of COURSE I didn't take advantage of you after you passed out, y'crazy lush Scot- I'm a Goddamn GENTLEMAN."

#49 - Victory  
Panting, bloodied, and victorious, Jane opened the crate and pulled out a pair of sturdy reinforced boots- perfect for rocket jumping with.

#50 - Defeat  
He really didn't feel like he'd won anything at all.


End file.
